What say me,

Google Patents is a great place to trawl for really bad ideas. I found this patent for “Hip hop dolls, animals, bears/ rapping dolls, animals, bears” filed by Taylor Christopher Carthern in 2005.

The images and the statements within the patent are unbearable. (editor’s note: unBEARably awesome!) For example:

According to Mr. Carthern: “My invention will involve stuffed teddy bears, dolls, animals and puppets that will speak hip hop slang, Ebonics, rapping words and phrases. The bears will have a chip with a pre-recorded message on it that would be activated by pressing a button on the animals. The animals will be dressed in hip or urban clothes and you will also be able to buy more clothes for a certain animal. The animals will say phrases such as Wats up shawty? Or Bling bling. They may even rap there name. Ex. If you have a bear name Eddie The Mac. He may rap something like it’s your boy E-D-D-I-E- coming ready like Freddy chillin like penicillin cuz Im a mac.”

(All spelling and punctuation kept intact from the original)

[sic] wid it,

Susan Z. Anthony